I'm awesome
by Princess Muna
Summary: edward has a bad life, it's based on the song i'm awesome by spose


I'm Awesome

Hi my name is Edward, Edward James Elric. I have no job, I live in my mom's basement which her name is Trisha. Let's put it this way I talk to myself on facebook wall everyday of my life and everyday I go to the military to bug my brother Al "Al! I got two friends on facebook you and the music!" I cheered "Big brother we're only your friends because you have no one else." explained Al, "I'm awesome!" said Edward " No big brother don't lie." "Shut up! don't ruin my happiness!" "Hey Edward, still living with your mom with no girlfriend? No job?" quizzed Roy, "But I'm awesome!" said Edward "No you aren't don't lie to yourself" pitied Roy, Riza joined the conversation "Your still a mama's boy?" she asked "Yeah he is." answered Roy "Man shut up!" yelled Edward "Just saying" said Roy, Edward turned to Riza with the 'do you wanna be my friend 'look "Rizi...?" questioned Edward "Yeah what?" she respond "Do you wanna be my facebook buddy?" he asked "..uh...i don't have a facebook." lied Riza " yes sheb does." said roy. " But I'm awesome who wouldn't want to add me!" I cheered. "No aren't don't lie to yourself" told Roy "What's so awesome about living in your mom's basement, having no job, no girlfriend to support you and talking to a facebook wall?" quizzed Havoc joining the conversation "I don't know" said Edward, "I don't know...".

"Mom can I borrow 10 bucks from you?" I asked "No go get a job!" said my mom "It been like what 9 months since you ever got a job". At 9:03 p.m I went on my computer, I typed: kissmy%%% psw:imawesome

My brother was online as usual,

alelric : Roy's adding you

kissmy%%% : That's awesome I'm not a loner! :D

alelric: He felt sorry for you so he added you after all he has 6, 301 friends

kissmy%%%: Shut up! I get more in a year!

alelric : You have Winry in Resimbool, contact her

roythehottestmanincentral logs in

roythehottestmanincentral : Hey guys did you hear the news?

alelric:The about the guy who stole a bag of money from the store? Yeah I heard about it.

roythehottestmanincentral : hahahahaha really looks like news travel fast.

alelric: really? how about the one with the falling boy the one who falls out of the that tall buliding i think he surived.

roythehottestmanincentral : No he had a broken leg and a split lip.

alelric: really lol

roythehottestmanincetnral : Im changing my name

roythehottestmanincentral changing name...

roy34cool: I like it

alelric : I like your old one it's describe who you are.

roy34cool : This one's easier.

alelric : true

kissmy%%% : Dudes what are we talking about?

alelric : your mom

kissmy%%% : my mom is your mom so don't use that on me

alelric : hahaha true but still

roy34cool : I gotta go

alelric : see ya brother from another mother

roy34cool : lol 3 3 3 3 3

alelric :hahaha

roy34cool logs off

alelric logs off

kissmy%%% : what the f45!

winryrocks logs on

kissmy%% : hey babe

winryrocks logs off

kissmy%%% :thanks

So that my story for you, oh did I mention I messed with someone ha that didn't go well, well it all started when i was hanging with Roy, "I'm bored, i'm going to mess with someone" i said, " I'm not paying your hospital bills" said roy warning edward, "so if you hurt yourself it's your problem" edward went to find some one to mess with so then after a few hours of searching he found someone, he went up to the person, a gang memeber "hey you! your mama so stupid that she thought the door was a floor and the floor was a door!" the guy turned around "excuse me?" asked the guy "can you repeat that?" the guy pulled out a gun, 's^* i'm not good with guns' i thought "I said that your mama-" the guy interrupted me "what'd you say about my mama?" instead of my self getting into more trouble i ran away from the gang, they ran after me. i saw roy walking and yelled "ROY HELP I'M BEING CHASED!" roy kept walking and ignored me "Roy!"

Epoligue

"you what!" screamed al "i caused drama with a gang and that's how i ended up in the hospital"i explained, al got more pissed " I paid 1,000 yens because i found you injured and it was all because you caused problems with a gang!" "it wasn't even that big a deal! all i did was diss one of thier mo-" "shut up you caused enough damage with me!" said al angrly, next thing you know a wrench came out of no where and i felt the whole world go black, yup it was winry rockbell and her wrench with the murderous aim at my head " YOU MORON! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" she yelled so loud that hospital heard, then came another hit it was...mom? another hit and another hit till i lost it then got knocked cold "mom who ever knew you were like winry rockbell?" then she smacked my brother "you don't even bother helping your brother and you want him to mature?" she walked out "damn..." said the doctor "what never seen a mother hit her son?" she snapped.


End file.
